New presidential candidate tosses hat in ring

New Candidate Announces For Presidential Race

Still undecided on how to cast your vote for President in November?  Another choice is now available.

Christiansburg Virginia, September 28, 2008 - Michael Miller, a well-known political satirist, announced today that he will be a write-in candidate for the office of President of the United States.   In a hastily arranged press conference at his home on the outskirts of the small rural town of Christiansburg Virginia, Miller made the following statement to New River Journal reporter Watt Isgoinon.

"After watching the so-called debate between McPalin and Barry Kobama on Friday, I sank into a deep depression.  I can't believe that this is the best we have to offer our country.  For years now, I, like most American voters, have cast my ballot for what I believed to be the lesser of two evils.  I now have come to realize that the lesser of two evils is, in fact, still evil, just somewhat less.  I intend to put an end to that with my candidacy."

Miller acknowledges that at this point he is somewhat of a dark horse in the race, but intends to put forth a significant effort to serve the people as President.  When asked how he intended to get votes when the deadline for registering to appear on ballots is past, Miller explained that all ballots allow write-in candidates.

"With the new electronic voting machines, it is exceptionally easy to cast write-in ballots.  In fact, I have been voting for myself for most offices for many years," said Miller.

When asked what sparked his last-minute decision, Miller cited encouragement from other disgruntled voters.

"In my political discussions with people I meet around town who can't get away from me in time, I have routinely pointed out the poor judgement and absolute idiocy of most of the people who run for office," said Miller.  "After viewing the past few weeks of attack ads in the middle of football games, people seem to be really getting fed up with the present candidates.  In fact, people now tell me 'I'd vote for YOU before I'd vote for one of these two guys'.  So, based upon public acclamation, I decided to give up my  meager but happy life as a freelance writer of incredible wit and insight for the less glamorous job of President.  Plus, it pays something like $400 thousand a year, you know."

Miller is still mulling over his choices for the VP spot.  His short list reportedly includes such well-known names as Don Langrehr, his long-time political ally on the Blacksburg Town Council, and ex-Christiansburg Town Councilman Steve Huppert, who was recently ousted from that body in a Kiwanis-led coup on the Christiansburg government.

Another press conference is scheduled for Monday.